Then I examine how they intersect or merge. Instead, I use my skills to find the truth in my perspective, and also find the truth in my brother’s perspective. There’s no way I can have a relationship with someone who doesn’t share the same beliefs and way of thinking.” If I allowed our relationship to stay in a very black-and-white place, I would think, “I can’t respect anyone who thinks the way he does. My brother is an engineer, a linear thinker, and rational-minded. I am a therapist, very people-oriented and emotion-minded. I love my brother dearly, but we are very different people. I like to use the example of me and my brother. Individuals trapped in a pattern of black-and-white thinking may fight and create discord in relationships, or avoid relationships altogether, cut people out of their lives, and isolate. When we’re not able to recognize a perspective different from our own, or when we view each interaction as further proof that I am a success or a failure, I am loved or unloved, it creates a lot of tension and conflict. One of the places where black-and-white thinking can get us in trouble is with relationships. Recognizing the dialectic in each situation relieves the pressure of trying to control everything and feeling powerless when we can’t. The goal with Dialectical Behavior Therapy is to find the truth in all sides so that we can be more willing and able to accept each moment for what it is… and what it is not. You may often feel out of control, either unable to control your own emotions, or feeling powerless to control your environment. In that state, your mood can shift rapidly, and your anxiety can build to painful levels. When every conversation is a referendum on whether you are loved or unloved, and every action or inaction determines whether you are a success or failure, the stakes seem incredibly high for daily interactions and experiences. Living in a place of black-and-white, either-or, all-or-none can intensify our emotions. How does black-and-white thinking affect our emotions? Synthesis: Acknowledging and improving on my mistakes is important and does not diminish my worth as a person. Thesis: Because I make a lot of mistakes, I am worthless.Īntithesis: Making mistakes is not a big deal. When we examine dialectics, we look for the truth in all sides and look for how these truths can merge.įrom a philosophical perspective, we have the thesis on one side, the antithesis on the other side, and the synthesis in the middle, which is a merging of the two – the gray area in a black-versus-white context. Two things can be very different or seemingly in conflict with one another, yet can still both have a grain of truth. What is Dialectics?Įssentially, dialectics is the idea that opposing thoughts, emotions, or experiences can co-exist. Individuals diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, mood disorders, and anxiety disorders are more prone to these harmful thought patterns.Īt Skyland Trail, we use Dialectical Behavior Therapy – or DBT – to confront that pattern of thinking and disrupt the cycle. That negative core belief creates a filter for all of their thoughts and experiences, impacting their emotional health, relationships, and ability to feel successful, valued and loved. For some people, a pattern of black-and-white thinking over time may reinforce a recurring automatic negative thought – “I can’t do anything right” – to the point that it becomes a permanent negative core belief – “I am worthless.” From time to time, we all experience black-and-white thinking or fall into an all-or-nothing frame of mind.
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